Something interesting has happened recently in political discourse: The Internet. It’s a beautiful thing; we now can communicate with people all around the world, freely exchanging ideas. Not only that, but we don’t have to listen to the idiots on the other side of the isle. Those morons never had anything relevant to say anyway.

One tiny problem. What exactly is the left-right divide? I ask because I consider myself more libertarian than right or left. However, I found myself on the right because, oddly enough considering historical left-right stereotypes, the right is currently more tolerant to anti-authoritarian ideas. But as the pendulum swings back toward center, I’ve started paying closer attention to left vs. right talking points, and have discovered that they are basically equivalent. Not policy-wise, but certaintly in terms of values.

A Parisian Rant

We on the (left/right) have the moral high ground against the (racist Nazi bigots/regressive Commie SJWs). Those authoritarian (capitalists/socialists) deny the rights of the (poor/small businesses) by centralizing power in the corrupt (corporations/government). And when we point it out, they wine about how true (free markets have/democratic socialism has) never been tried! No, the truth on the matter is that (capitalism/socialism) has been tried, and has failed. Just look at (Rockefeller/Venezuela)! It’s undeniable, objective fact that (capitalism/socialism) will always lead to (monopolistic corporatism/authoritarian regimes).

As is clearly self-evident, the only way to fight fiscal authoritarianism is through a (socialistic/capitalistic) economy. When we vote (for good policies/with our dollars), we can be confident that the decentralized (democratic/capitalistic) system on which our nation was built will ensure maximum freedom for the people.

The biggest social problems we face today are caused by those (racist bigots/shrieking SJWs), along with their entourage of (internet trolls/corporate media outlets). They try to deplatform us with their authoritarian tactics such as (hate speech/hit pieces), and I receive so much of it that I’ve honestly become desensitized. By the way, (the Media/you all) should (target them/raid their channels). Even if they refuse to listen, hopefully someone in their audience (listens to reason/gets red-pilled).

I labor on, striving, as always, to provide you with unbiased political analysis. Until next time,
- The Generic (Progressive/Conservative)

Authoritarian Conspiracy

And now the most libertarian statement I have ever generated:

The bipartisan system is a product of a conspiracy by the socio-economic elites (and the deep state) to mold the world into an ever more authoritarian dystopia.

I believe that a huge segment of both the political left and right is adamantly anti-authoritarian. And yet, every election cycle sees our government and our corporatistic conglomerates get bigger and more powerful. I’d bet good money that over half of the population would go to extremes to see this situation get reversed. And yet here we are, voting for either a donkey that will inflate the government or an elephant that will encourage mergers. Who benefits? The socio-economic elites. Who loses? Literally everybody else.

Whether it’s actually a conspiracy or just an unfortunate result of internet echo chambers, too many of us find ourselves vilifying the other end of the political spectrum, even if our own “end” is more a slight leaning than an ideological stance. This is a trap that way too many people are falling into. I consider myself lucky to have caught myself before falling headlong into it, and I hope that others can do the same.